Katherine got married!!

Katherine's gift to dad

Saturday, May 21, my baby sister married a wonderful man. Martin has been such a blessing to our family and we couldn't imagine a better man for my sister. In preparation for her wedding, we had family and friends come in from all over the country and world. Katherine's beautiful friends showered her with love and support and the day went off without a hitch. With regard to dad, there were a couple of bumps in the road that Katherine took with great stride, patience, and grace. I wouldn't have expected less from her. She is the rock. Personally, I completely came apart multiple times between Friday and the father daughter dance at her reception, including her ceremony. Sorry about that Katherine.

mom and dad at the rehearsal dinner

Somehow on Friday, between all the family and last minute preparations, dad didn't take his medication in the morning. We knew by early afternoon because he had a seizure that caused him to fall. They immediately dosed him and had him rest. We wanted him to skip the rehearsal so he was strong for the dinner, but he insisted on coming. 

girls getting ready

Dad gave a wonderful prayer at the rehearsal dinner and was pretty strong most of the night. He walked around and enjoyed himself overall. So many people came up and showered Katherine and Martin with love and congratulations. The many speeches that were made highlighted how amazing my sister is. Her kindness and love of life inspires people and so many people commented on how she and Martin are a perfect pairing. Watching dad during these speeches, you could see him processing that everyone that meets Katherine thinks of her and loves her the way that we do. I can only imagine how proud my dad was to hear these accolades of his baby girl. 

On Saturday, meds were promptly dosed and the day at the church began around noon. The girls all hung around, ate, and shared stories and affirmations. If Katherine was nervous, you couldn't tell until we all lined up to walk down the aisle. While everyone was getting ready, many guests came early and joined dad in the sanctuary to hear the 12 piece orchestra warming up. Dad was in charge of the music at the church and was determined that the orchestra, with Diego and his sister on cello, would be there to usher Katherine and Martin in to the world as Mr. and Mrs. Haaga. 

Being in the back of the church, I was able to see dad and Katherine before they walked down the aisle. As the matron of honor, I was front and center, with my oldest Mia by my side, to watch daddy walk my baby sister down the aisle. This is the first time I couldn't contain my emotions. We had moved up plans and worked diligently since dad's diagnosis in December to make sure this very moment could happen. I was overcome with joy for my sister, compassion for my dad, and also sadness at the thought that now that we have gotten to this point, maybe dad won't fight anymore. I wanted to pause the moment. Make them stop, so dad would have something to fight and live for. 

After his seizure on Friday, he had told my mom that he only needed to stay alive for two more days. I needed him to still need to stay alive for this, every ounce of my being just wanted to slow this moment down and save it for dad. But it didn't. I knew it wouldn't. And so instead, I watched as Katherine came walking down the aisle. The most beautiful bride I'm sure almost everyone in that church had ever seen. With her dad... Wise, loving, strong at heart, but frail in body due to this monster that is taking him too soon from us. She walked with grace given to her from the many years of dance. She walked with the wisdom imparted to her by my dad. She walked with the love and kindness instilled in her by my mom. She walked. Slow. Beautiful. Purposeful. With my dad, straight in to the arms of the only man I could imagine being by her side on this day, and every other monumental day of her life. 

before walking down the aisle

During the ceremony, dad shook as he stood waiting for Sandy to ask him "who gives the woman to this man." It seemed like he gave a 10 minute homily as I stood there watching my dad shake and grab Martin for balance. This is where I watched as my sister's soon to be husband showed his love and compassion by holding dad's hand that grabbed his arm. He stayed focused on the words of the minister and maintained composure as I looked at him bawling and pleading with my eyes to please not let my dad fall. And he didn't. Dad gave Katherine away and sat down. The rest of the ceremony was seamless and Katherine and Martin were announced to the church as Mr. and Mrs. Haaga.

After the ceremony, we took pictures and went to the reception. Katherine and Martin had their first dance, and then dad and Katherine had their dance. This was where I cried the next time. Dad was a little thrown off by the way the band was playing the song, so he kind of was waiting until he recognized it. When he did, he pulled out all the stops with fancy footwork and spins. Once he started dancing, everyone clapped and cried. I watched and cried and saw my "real" dad out there with my sister on that dance floor. In his element and happy.

Everything about the reception and wedding was beautiful. The dances were great, the cakes were amazing, the German beer garden was relaxing and flowing with beer, the cigar station was occupied by dad and his friends, the band was outstanding, and the face painter had a line until she left. Everyone danced and ate and drank. Dad spent much of his time smoking cigars with his friends and joined mom for a slow dance and rounded out the evening dancing with me, then to Prince on the dance floor.
We all ushered Katherine and Martin out with sparklers and the day wound down.
My best fried Claire and her (now) fiance Drew, helped bring things to the house and hung out with dad playing guitar and talking. Drew lost his dad to GBM about 5 or 6 years ago, so he has a special perspective.

Dad, Mark, and Tim

Please continue to pray for guidance on dad's treatment and also for Katherine and Martin's new union. Thank you to everyone that came and those that helped and made this day possible!
You can find more pictures on Karen's blog http://www.karenpulferfocht.com/blog/drbobsbrain

Father daughter dance

Schilling Farms Middle School

 Dad taught at Schilling Farms for 15 years before moving to Collierville High School this past August. He loved it there and they loved him. Every year they have a fundraiser for a specific cause.

               

This year they chose to raise money for dad and brain cancer awareness. The school bought almost 200 Dr. Bob shirts and have had various other fundraiser components, one of which includes a teacher talent show. Dad, as I'm sure you have already guessed, was no stranger to these talent shows. In fact, he was an active participant the past few years. Today, we went to the school to watch the talent show and show support for the school and their amazing fundraising efforts. Dad has said over and over that he didn't want to go because he didn't want a lot of attention. Now, if you know dad, he isn't one to shy away from attention. I think he doesn't want attention drawn to the fact that he is sick. Dad is proud. He is also very much aware of his new apparatus as well as his physical limitations that make him less agile than before. In addition to that, these new meds have been impacting his general mood and making him more tired. We were so overwhelmed with love and support while we were there. Everyone had something to tell us about their interactions with dad. I was overcome with tears more than once. It was so fun to watch the teachers dancing and singing for their students. At the same time, my heart broke knowing that daddy will probably never dance and sing again. He loved those two things. Dad met mom when he was a singer in a band in Germany. He instilled his love for music with all of us and my brother, Mark, followed in his footsteps as a wonderful singer and musician. I remember being Mia's age and dad teaching me to do the waltz and foxtrot. He wanted to make sure I knew traditional, ballroom dancing basics. All three of us danced competitively until we were teenagers. 

I cried watching and knowing how much dad would have loved to be on stage and probably really wanted to see his old friends with whom he has worked for his entire teaching career. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it would have been to have to be a witness to something you love. Dad knows his limits. He mows how much he can handle. We were honored to go in his place, and I was saddened he didn't feel like going. Thank you Schilling Farms Middle School, and everyone that made today possible. We love you because you love our dad and truly appreciate the love you have for him and our family.  Please continue to pray for him and us!! 

 

It's been a while...

I'm sorry it's been a while since I have posted. We had to switch format because caringbridge changed their privacy options not allowing for a public forum any longer.
I want this to be a site that not only informs dad's friends of what is happening, but also brings awareness to anyone that googles brain cancer or glioblastoma. Our story is real life...

There have been so many things that happen and then resolve themselves, that I have tried  to wait and make sure I am passing along information that is accurate.

Since I have last updated, dad has gotten a new device that is supposed to help keep the tumor from growing. It is called an Optune cap. He is supposed to wear it 18-24 hours a day and it consists of four patches of arrays and electrodes that are positioned on his head and pulse electromagnetic waves through the brain to halt the division of tumor cells.
Dad hates this new device. It's cumbersome and limiting. He is annoyed by it everyday and it is contributing to the dampening of his spirits.

Since I last wrote, dad has had three of we think are TIA seizures. They are not the shaking on the ground type of seizures, rather seizures that present in dad as confusion, disorientation, and repetitive movements for about 10-15 minutes and then he "snaps out of it" and seems cognitively normal.

The neurologist has increased his anti-seizure meds and these have some rather unpleasant side effects. What we have seen with dad is increased irritability and sleeplessness. We think these are a result of the increased dose of Keppra, but I'm sure there is a cummulative effect as well... The idea that your days are numbered, thinking of how you will decline, worrying about your wife and children. I can't imagine fighting this demon, but dad has always been strong minded. I have no doubt that now is no exception.

Thank you for your continued prayers, and please share the switch to this blogspot with anyone you know that knows dad.

Daddy picking strawberries with Adelyn on Mother's Day